Songs for the journey

There are songs for every purpose: celebration, mourning, easy listenting, reflection, inspiration, and so on. But then there are songs that become memorable or special, often because they say something simply or profoundly and they just come by at the right time for us to really understand. And then we find that we go back to that song maybe to recall that moment or idea, like a friend who understands. They are songs we recommend, quote and refer to people in the journey of life. They become "songs for the journey".

A few weeks ago I was flipping through my iPod on shuffle listening various tunes, mostly just playing with the stereo dock we had just purchased. I had just turned my attention to somehing else when my 6-year-old daughter turned around and said, "Hey, I like that song. Can you play it again?" So we shared the song, again and again. Later, we found the lyrics so we could memorize them. For now, at least, it has become "our song"--one that I will definitely pack for the journey, and I think she will, too. It's "Cry (if you want to)" by C. Scott, performed by The Holly Cole Trio. Look it up--you might like it...

Cry if you want to
I won’t tell you not to

I won’t try to cheer you up

I’ll just be here if you want me

It’s no use in keeping a stiff upper lip

You can weep you can sleep you can loosen your grip

You can frown you can drown and go down with the ship

You cry if you want to

Don’t ever apologize venting your pain

Its something to me you don’t need to explain

I don’t need to know why

I don’t think it’s insane

You can cry if you want to

The windows are closed

The neighbours aren’t home

If it’s better with me than to do it alone

I’ll draw all the curtains and unplug the phone

You can cry if you want to

You can stare at the ceiling and tear at your hair

Swallow your feelings and stager and swear

You could show things and throw things and I wouldn’t care

You can cry if you want to

I won’t make fun of you

I won’t tell any one

I won’t analyze what you do or you should have done

I won’t advise you to go and have fun

You can cry if you want to

Well it’s empty and ugly and terribly sad

I can’t feel what you feel but I know it feels bad

I know that its real and it makes you so mad

You could cry

Cry if you want to I won’t tell you not to

I won’t try and cheer you up

I’ll just be here if you want me to be

Near you

So...tell me...what are some of your "songs for the journey"?

Scotch Tape

We live in a world with limitations. Too much salt is bad for you. Too many calories, too little exercise, too much alone time, too much time with people, too much work, too much play. And so it follows that we all assert that "all things in moderation" is the way to go, the way to raise our kids and the way to stay out of trouble. That is a reasonable, practical approach. It never gets us into trouble. But it never unleashes us, either. You will never dream of anything or start anything that inspires you if you just colour within the lines or think inside the box. It's safer, but lifeless. It's like Michelangelo being asked to paint the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel and saying, "Thanks, I'll go with a nice taupe."

Some time ago I noticed my son loves to do arts and crafts....make forts, rock collection boxes, cardboard houses, spaceships, carports, etc. and in doing do he goes through a tremendous amount of scotch tape. Obscene amounts. You would have to be The Incredible Hulk to break through most of them. Some of his creations are made entirely of tape, I think. The first time I saw this huge consumption of tape emptying all of the tape in the house I got pretty annoyed...that's not cheap stuff. I was about to ask him to go easy on the tape when I thought of how we teach our kids and ourselves about limitations, and I realized I did not want to douse his flame of interest, and one of his main tools for bringing his imgination to life. Sure, it would be good to waste fewer resources, but some thing in life, or at least in growing up, ought to be abundant. Steven Covey in his 7 Habits book talks about embracing an "abundance mindset" versus a "scarcity mindset" and that has always stuck with me. I need to cultivate more of that kind of thinking in my own life, and in my kids.

So Connor doesn't know it (I'm generous but not crazy!) but I have made a conscious effort to put no limits on his consumption of scotch tape, and I even go help him find more when he needs it. He can have all the tape he wants, an endless supply. There will be no growling, no grumpiness or reluctance on my part. He will have it in abundance, and his imagination will live on, in abundance.

Piano Recital

I never thought I would be going to a piano recital to hear one of my own kids performing. I'm not sure why. It's really not a mystery how it came about. It falls into the category of "things you can make happpen" if you just make a choice.

For me it is symbolic of my hopes for my kids to develop in many directions. As parents we all try to lay out a sample of activities that life has to offer in hopes that they will enjoy most of them, and really engage with a few, like mining for gold. When they start to self-select things, when they become actors in the process, that's when things get interesting. Janelle loves piano. And I love that she loves it.

How much is too much?

I am new to this posting thing, but I must say it has my attention. I am not sure what is the proper etiquette for writing posts, at least in terms of quantity. How prolific am I allowed to be? I seem to be full of ideas but iuncertain whether they will be of any value or interest. Do you ever feel that way? I guess I should decide why I am writing. Is it for me or for my (nonexistant) readers? I suppose it's like the the proverbial tree that falls in the forest. No one will hear.

The question about what is the driver for self-expression does resonate with me. It is an intereststing question, because I don't have the answer. Why does an artist paint? To express himself, or communicate something, or both? "Both" is a lazy answer, even if it is true some of the time. I guess it depends on who is the artist and what is their canvass....so much of what we see around us today is just good craft, clever technique--pleasing, but not really art. So it is with our own self expression: some endeavours might approach artistry, most do not.

I think a self-conscious artist never really achieves breakthrough--the moderating influence of the reader is just too powerful, too compromising. I guess I lean more toward art as self-expression than comminication, and so it should be with my writing.

Now I am not saying this blog is or ever will be truly "art", but it is the question itself that matters. Not because there is one right answer, but because my asking it drives my behaviour, my perspective, and my sense of freedom.

But I do kind of wish I had some readers.

Why "Wide Angle Stun"?

Why is this blog entitled "Wide Angle Stun"? I don't know, exactly. I guess the thought of it always struck me funny--remember on Star Trek from the 60's when they would get into danger and use their stun ray to knock everyone out harmlessly? (Well, maybe that's what this blog will do to you.) What always struck me was at least one episode of that campy-but-endearing show featured a setting called "wide angle" stun...you press the button and everyone in the room falls to the floor helpless, calm, and relaxed. So I guess I always thought that was a pretty great feature.

I kind of wish I had it some days with my kids, or at work, or when facing an angry mob of aliens. It would be kind of nice to just step off for a minute and rearrange the world for a minute while they are all sleeping. So it seems to line up the purpose for my blog in some strange way, though I am not sure exactly sure what that is. For now, it is just a place to offload some thoughts on just about anything. And I will probably keep exploring really what makes that name stick with me.

The truth about the wide angle stun setting is it is too powerful, as a storytelling device. You hit the button and presto--problem solved! Threat neutralized. Story over. No wonder they soon stopped using that feature...it kills creativity, and creativity thrives on constraints. (A pet theory of mine.)

So this is a pretty meandering post. I just wanted to rip one off to get the ball rolling. Maybe someday I will look up that episode reference. Maybe I will explore the deep hidden meaning behind that title. Maybe not. Maybe I will just use it as a reminder to step off, lighten up and find my voice.

But I'll pack my phaser just in case.